Doorway To Freedom

How many times have you sabotaged your best effort to achieve your goals?

We’ve all been there and you may still be wondering why it’s so hard to achieve goals, despite the strategies you may have tried before.

Well I don’t know how technically good those strategies are because you see unless you know how to work with your feeling mind you will find yourself sabotaging your best efforts over and over again. This is in view of the fact that up to 90% of our behaviour stems from our emotions and apparently we make over 1,000 decisions every day, the great majority of which as you can imagine are totally unconscious.

So it makes sense to learn to work and direct with the unconscious mind right?

Sabotaging your best efforts is also a mechanism of the unconscious mind that despite what it may seem, it always has your best interest at heart.

The thing is that because the unconscious mind is not a logical mind, doesn’t have a sense of time and doesn’t know the difference between imagination and reality it works in a very different way from your cognitive ‘intelligent’ mind. Mind you, the unconscious part of your mind is very intelligent, but it can be compared to the intelligence of a bright 5 year old kid.

So what are the points you need to consider to stop the self-sabotage mechanism?

1. Change your thoughts and language
2. Change your core beliefs about the area you want change
3. Learn to withstand your own uncomfortable feelings (so as not to give in when things don’t change as fast as you’d like)

Action steps for point 1:

Have you ever listened to the language you use and in particular the language you use about yourself?

I can tell you that even if I have never met you it most probably needs to change. Notice if you are dramatising things by the kind of language you use to describe things, especially when they don’t go your own way.

Change that to more positive, yet realistic language. Your life will start feeling not so bad after all!

Being language a cognitive skills it goes by itself that you’d be looking at your thought as well and instil some positivity in there too.

Action steps for point 2:

– Identify the core beliefs you hold about ‘dieting’, ‘exercising’, ‘having more money’, ‘attracting a wonderful partner’, ‘climbing the career ladder’ etc.

Let me tell you that you are bound to find negative beliefs especially if you are prone to self-sabotaging (that’s why you are doing it!)

– Change those beliefs to new ones – this can be easier said than done as there is a professional way to do that fast and sort of automatically but if you are doing it yourself the easiest way to do it is through the use of positive affirmations and repeat them endlessly, put them on sticky notes around your home and work environment, you don’t have to always stop and read them, but your peripheral vision will pick them up just by you passing by once you have read them a few times from the sticky notes.

Action steps for point 3:

Crucial point: until you run away from your own uncomfortable feeling you will never reach what you want. That’s what you are doing every time you procrastinate, that’s what you’re doing when you’re giving in.

Learn to sit with those feeling, while you work with your thinking and last but not least Keep Going!

This is the secret to having your mind working FOR you instead of AGAINST you.